God's grace

I think alot of us fall into the trap of thinking that we have fallen too far to be forgiven, that what we have done precludes us from the grace of God.  I certainly did.   What many of us don't consider is that our God knows the end from the beginning.  On the day that he made us our God knew every sin that we would committ, every unkind word or thought, every evil thing that we would do or say.  What did God do knowing all the bad things that we would do?  Well, he made us anyway he loved us so much that he made us knowing that we would fall.  So, when you think that what you have done precludes you from God's grace, remember that what has happened is no surprise to Him, he knew everthing that we would say, think or do from our begining and he made us anyway.  Repentance and acceptance of Jesus is not just about not going to hell, it's also about getting closer to God, fixing our relationship with him.

Romans 5: 8-11

8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.9 And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God's condemnation.10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 10: 9-13 9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.11 As the Scriptures tell us, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced."12 Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him.13 For "Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved."

God sent Jesus as the perfect sacrifice for our sins, so that we would not have to be separated from him by sin.

John 3:16-17
16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Mark 10:45
45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Romans 3: 23-26
23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard.24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past,26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

I'm tired...

I'm otired of our habit of always looking for an explanation in the natural everytime that something good happens or goes the way that we want it to.   Why are we so willing to ask God for his help in our lives, but so reluctant to give Him the credit and the glory when He answers our prayers?  We are, after all, asking God to intervene in our lives because there is a situation that seems impossible, or there seems to not be a way through your problems.  So when God answers our prayers, when he makes the impossible possible and makes a way where there was no way, we should be praising and thanking him not trying to explain away our blessings as the product of something as mundane or nonexistant as luck. 

"Luck is for atheists, I rely on a hire power."

Mission Peru: Arrival

Arrival

It is late afternoon on Saturday August 18, 2012.  We are on approach for landing at the Iquitos airport and I lean forward from my middle seat to look out the window.  I can see the landscape and my first thought is "I could live here, it is beautiful".  And then I see it, the houses, the poverty is apparent even at this height.  When I see the houses I think, no I couldn't live here, I could not live here and not feel compelled to do something about what I'm seeing.  And then I realize, I'm a hypocrite, I do that everyday right now.  Everyone knows there is poverty in Columbus, OH, we all know that there are people that cannot afford food.  We all know that there are homeless people, homeless families in Columbus, or as the Music Man would have put it "right here in river city".  We all know when it gets cold out that there are far too few shelter beds for the number of homeless people that we have and that many are turned away and end up sleeping outside in sub-zero weather.  We all, I, know this and turn a blind eye almost every day and yet I sit here thinking, as I see the poverty from the air, that I could not just sit by and do nothing and yet I do just that, back home, on almost a daily basis.  Am I really so out of touch that I think that occasional check to Faith Mission, near the holidays, is really making a difference or that the check I write every couple of months to the local food pantry is really what God had in mind in all the references to the poor in the bible, Hebrews 13:16 for example?  I used to think so, but in this moment, in this moment all that I have done seems to be inadequate.  Little did I know that what I was seeing right at that moment was some of the nicer housing, nicer areas of town that we would be seeing.

Under Seige

As we endure continued attacks from the enemy, I thought it might help to share part of a conversation I had today.

I have searched for this verse previously without much success, today when I needed to see it I had no trouble finding it.

Psalm 46:7

The LORD of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah (KJV)

"The LORD of hosts" is also translated "The LORD of Heaven's Armies"

Selah (Hebrew) is used to stress the importance of a preceding passage- the Amplified Bible says it means "pause, and think of that". 
Clark's commentary on the Bible defines it as: Selah- This is a firm, lasting, unshaken, well-tried truth.

I can't think of anyone better to have on our side going through this than the LORD of Heaven's Armies.  Doubt is a tool of the enemy, but I take heart in knowing that the LORD of Heaven's Armies is with us, he is our fortress and refuge.

Psalm 47 goes on to say:

10 Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. (KJV)

It is a choice

Today, we received some less than ideal news.  This has caused the familiar cycle of depression and wavering in my faith to start all over again.  In response, I began reading my Bible verses that I have at the ready and I prayed.  One of the prayer is one that I received in an email from Joel Osteen Ministries (mailing list):

Father, thank You for Your hand of victory upon my life.  Thank You for making a way even when there seems to be no way.  I choose to stand in faith.  I choose to believe, knowing that You are ready, willing and able to cause me to overcome in this life in Jesus' name. Amen

As I was reading this prayer I thought -there it is my answer is right there  "I choose to stand in faith.  I choose to believe, ...".  It is a choice, a conscious decision to believe in the goodness of God even when life is not going the way we would like it to or have prayed for it to.  Instead of feeling like there is something wrong with me (why can't my faith be stronger?) and letting the enemy continue to try to crack my faith I say to the 3 alright maybe 4 readers of this blog:

I choose to stand in faith
I choose to believe in the goodness of God
I choose to trust that God is working behind the scenes on my behalf
I thank God for his favor which is making a way even if I cannot see a way
I choose to put an end to worry in my life
I choose to totally trust in God every day of my life
I believe and declare:
     That God is for us and not against us
     I am in the palm of God's hand
    This hasn't come to stay, it has come to pass
     I know who I am, I know whose I am
     God makes all things work together for my my good
     God goes before me to make my path straight and easy
     The blessings of God are chasing me down and overtaking me
     I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength
     Everyone who asks, receives
     Everyone who seeks, finds
     Everyone who knocks, the door will be opened

All these things are made possible with God and by believing in Him.  I choose to believe, I choose to stand in faith.

As for the other issues and feelings that I have been wrestling with these last 2 weeks-

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17: 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new (NKJV)
     I believe and declare that when I was saved, when I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior that everything that I have done, all the times that I fell short of being the man that God wants me to be was washed away by the blood of Jesus and I shall feel condemned no longer.

I am forgiven

                                                 And so are you.

Psalm 27

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation-
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a  mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I'm attacked,
I will remain confident.
4 The one thing I ask of the Lord-
the thing I seek the most-
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord's perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.
7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I've never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

This chapter from Psalms has helped me today, I post it here in the hope that it will find others in need of His comfort.

Signs Part III

I have been praying for some time for God to help me lose weight.  After church last week, I was telling a very good friend of mine about a conversation I had with my son about faith,  I mentioned that it took place when I was getting to walk on our treadmill.  I told him that I had this "great idea" that I could walk on the treadmill while playing XBOX, unfortunately for me it meant being in more pain from falling off the treadmill that I had from walking on it.  To this my friend says that he and another member workout every morning and that I was welcome to join them.  I had been praying for some time about my weight and here it was, all I had to do was take my own advice and "take the first boat".  I am not normally a "morning person" and working out with them would mean getting every weekday by 6:00a to be at the gym by 6:30a.  I had been praying for the last few months not only requesting help with my weight loss, but telling God that if I could get up by 6am, I would be able to spend 30 mins on the treadmill every morning, but not having much success in doing this.  For the last week I have have been awake every morning before 6am when my alarm was set to go off.  This is something I was not able to get done in the natural, but when I turned to God for help he made it happen in a way that I did not expect.  I took the first boat this time instead of letting it go by once again and I can testify that Gods way is better than anything I could have come up with on my own. 

Healing

Last weekend the wife and son went to get haircuts and I volunteered to do the grocery shopping.  When it came time to load the groceries into my truck I remembered the baskets of clothes that we had loaded into the bed, of the truck, but forgot to drop off.  Since the bed was full I put the bags in the back seat and headed to Goodwill to drop off the clothes and be the double hero, did the grocery shopping, took the clothes to Goodwill (and as a bonus get that stuff out of my truck).  When I arrived at Goodwill, there was a tv that we were moving that needed to be lifted up while I pulled out the baskets.  The first basket was easy since the second basket was still propping up the tv and that made me a little complacent when it came time to get the second one.  With the left hand I lifted up the tv and pulled the basket out with the right hand and about the time the back edge of the basket was under my left elbow and clear of the tv the tv became too much to hold and fell to bed of the truck.  The only problem, I was still trying to hold the tv up and as a result hyper-extended my arm.  I've never heard by body make those noises, but something in my arm popped 4-5 times and the inside of the elbow immediately started to hurt and the arm became useless.  As I headed home the pain became worse and I could not even make simple movements of the arm from the elbow down without a significant amount of pain.  When I got home I asked my wife to take a look at it (she is in the medical field) and she was concerned that I might have torn a muscle (looks like you tore...) or ligament.  Last thing I want to do on a Sat is spend all day in the ER so I decided to wait and see, my wife took my good hand and we prayed for healing.  The next day it was significantly better, I still was not able to lift anything with it but I could do many tasks, except lifting, pain free just a dull soreness.  It's now 6 days later and the arm is almost completely healed, my wife says these types of injuries take 6 weeks to heal normally.  Thank you Jesus.

Prayer

Prayers do not have to be complicated or follow a strict outline.  God just wants you to talk to him, to say what is on your mind.  Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done (Philippians 4:6).

I saw a clip from an interview on TBN (the All Jesus All The Time channel as my son once called it) with Mr. T.  That's right Mr. T of wrestling and The A-Team fame.  The clip was not long, only about 2 minutes but he made a really good point about prayer during that time.  He said that, when we pray, we don't need a lot of fluffy words to talk to God, you just talk to him.  It doesn't really even need to be more than "Help me Jesus! Help me God!  It really does not need to be any more complicated than that.  I think it is more important that we do it than the exact wording that we use when we do pray.

"...he has something for you."

"You have to go introduce yourself to him, he has something for you." 

We started attending the Church at Polaris the week before Christmas 2010.  Soon after we started, there was one man in particular who would come up to me during the greeting part of service and shake my hand and say hello.  This would happen every week, no matter where I sat, it was as if he was seeking me out.  Regardless of where we sat, whether in the center or side sections, whether we were on the end or in the middle of the row, I don't think that there was a week that went by that this man did not find me.  My wife leaned over during one service and said quite matter-of-factly "You have to go and introduce yourself to him, he has something for you".  Although she often has the uncanny ability to see things that I do not, I can be somewhat stubborn so my usual reply was "I don't think so".  It's just not my way to go up to someone I don't know and introduce myself, so while I patiently listened to what she had to say that's all I did, listen.  This continued on week after week, month after month, if he was there he found me just to shake my hand and say hello.  As the weeks turned into months, I got accustomed to it and pushed my wife's council to the back of my mind.  She could not explain it, it was just a feeling that would not go away and she was sure, the more that we went that "he had something for me."  As the months went on things in my life started to really deteriorate.  One day following service he was at the exit doors saying goodbye to people as we all made our way out. When we got to him he asked how we were.  Well that's all the wife needed, she told him some of the things that were going on and and asked him "Does God ever change his mind?" in regards to a calling. His answer was a lighting fast "No" and he went on to say that  God does not call you to do something and then change his mind.  The next week on our way out, following service, he was farther away from the doors so his back was to me.  Normally I would have just gone out the doors and been on our way but this day something made me hesitate and after I stopped I literally felt a "push" an overwhelming need to go and over to him.  When I got to him his back was to me and I felt such a "need" to talk to him that I reached out and touched his arm to get his attention (I add this because this is just not me I just don't ask others for help especially ones I don't know very well and ask for help).  After talking for a few minutes he offered to meet with us in private so that we could talk more in depth, but I was not ready for that at least I didn't think I was.  The next day was one of the worst of my life some things that I had done had come back and it was time to face the consequences.  I was alone when I got the news and emotionally could not deal with it and began to consider taking the easy way out instead of dealing with the consequences, doing something that I would not be able to undo, that I could never take back.  It was then that I knew she was right, that Mark Pagley did indeed have something for me and it was time to find out what it was.  She emailed him asking if he was still available to meet and he gave us three different days and several times that he could meet and we made an appointment.  When I met with Pastor Mark I told him everything, what I had done, what I was facing and what I was considering and he told me something that I'll never forget.  He said "It doesn't matter" I was surprised to hear this as I had spent a great deal of time in self loathing and condemnation that I asked what do you mean it doesn't matter?  How can it not matter?  His reply was as simple as it was true ... it doesn't matter what I had done because Jesus already died for my sins and if I could not accept his forgiveness then I was saying in effect that my problems were bigger than God, that I was bigger than God.  We talked for what seemed like a long time, he gave me some scriptures to read, every day, they were Romans 8 - all of it and Philippians 4: 6-7.  During that visit he showed me the road that God had laid out for me and he helped me find the courage to walk it, knowing that I would never have to take one step alone.

It has been 7 months since that meeting, and the worst of our ordeal has passed.  Everything that Mark told me then and since has proven true.  Not only did God not abandon me, he has been with us through this entire thing every time that we needed help, needed something to go our way we would pray and pray and pray and keep praying for it and God has delivered us every time ... he has not let us down once.  Through this I have found faith and salvation.  I have tried to thank him (Mark), but I don't know if he really understands just how far around the bend I had gone by the time that we met that day.  I was rapidly coming to a choice; live in the light or condemn my soul to the darkness, damnation or salvation.  What no one knows until now is that while I promised the wife that I would not do the unthinkable, that I would not leave her alone to deal with this, the truth is that sitting in Pastor Mark's office I was very much still thinking about doing just that.  I don't know if he knows just how much of a difference in my life that he has made.  Without Mark Pagley making time to see me that day there is no way I could have been strong enough to live through this ordeal.  As bad as I felt that day in his office, it was nothing compared to what I would go through the next two weeks as I realized the extent of what I was facing, and without Mark taking the time to meet that day I would not have been able to survive this.  God put the right person in my life to help me make the right choice.  Because of that meeting I repented of my sins and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. 

God will never give up on us, all that is asked of us is that we believe in him and stand in faith that he will make a way out of whatever situation that we get ourselves into.  God knows the end from the beginning, he knew what you and I would face in our lives and he already has made a plan to see us through whatever trial that we are facing.  We may be walking through the shadow of the valley of death, but that is all we are doing, walking through it and God has promised that he would walk through it with is, what more could we ask?

This same thing is true about Jesus.  He has something for you ... forgiveness, redemption, salvation ... all you have to do is introduce yourself.

Signs Part II

On the way to pickup my son from school, I received some bad news. This came via text from my wife and with everything else that has been going on in our lives it really had the feel of "piling on". So I prayed, I prayed for understanding, I told God that I even though I did not understand it, I knew he has a plan so this was no surprise for him. I did ask him for understanding or even a sign. A few minutes later I pulled into the school and into the pickup line to await our son. While waiting I was focused on something inside my vehicle when the minivan in front of me pulled out of line to leave. I looked up and while I was waiting to move up in line I noticed their license plate BLV IN HM. I have been picking my son up at this school for almost 3 years now and have never seen this van or plate before. Ok God, you still have us in the palm of your hand I'll keep hanging on keep staying in faith thank you for the sign.

Update:
My wife put out an email to all of our friends in Christ asking for their prayers. One of which was our Chief Medical Director who did pray for us but he also had a suggestion which she followed. Within 2 hours God took what had been meant for our harm and used it for our good. God never closes one door without opening another.

The next day it happened again.  On my way to pickup my son from school I again received bad news relating to the business.  So, again I prayed and asked God for help.  The answer did not come as quickly, but it did come.  The next day we received news that we had been waiting several weeks to get that would greatly help us get through this time.  Again, we prayed and God answered, it just doesn't get any better than this!

How will you be remembered?

Now, I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon so please let's not board the freak-out train just yet.

How will we be remembered when we are gone?  This has been bouncing around inside my head for a few weeks now so I thought I would address it here.  I cannot remember the title but there is a song on christian radio that talks about how will we be remembered when we are gone, and I heard it again recently on TV.  The question is essentially, how do you want to be remembered when you are gone?  When I asked myself that question, I really did not have an answer.  I mean, I don't really get to make that decision now do I?  I don't really get to write the answer because I'll be gone.   The people I am around every day will write the answer to this question of who I was, not I.  But, for the sake of argument, I want to be remembered as a kind, caring, giving person who was always there for his family.  By there I mean, having time to spend with them, to help them with what is important to them or bothering them.  Not always wrapped up in what I think is important, not emotionally distant or putting what I want to do first.  Then it occurred to me that my first impression of this was completely wrong.  We do get to write the answer to the question of "Who I was" we all do.  Every day we write this answer with every kind or harsh word to another.   Every we try to see another's point of view or just dismiss them.  Every time that we focus just on ourselves and not others.  Every time we are too busy to spend time with our children or put aside what we want to get done to spend time with them we write this answer.  Most of us go through life without ever realising what now seems like a simple truth.  We write the story of who we are in the memories of those around us, we have the power to make those memories good or bad with every word every action or inaction, it really is up to us.  Jesus has given me a chance to make those memories good and not bad any more, to be the man I was meant to be instead of who I had become.  I know I'm not worthy of his grace but I accept it just the same.  I hope you will too.

Easter

This past Easter, Pastor Bennett really encouraged members to bring someone to church with them.  I brought my mom who was raised Catholic so this was a very different experience for her.  At our house following service, she said something that caught my attention.  She said that she had never heard anyone thanking Jesus for going to the cross.  This seemed to bother her and at the time I took it as her looking to start a fight and just let it go.  The more I thought of what she said, it occurred to me that she was not looking to argue she just doesn't get it.  She is not alone.  I believe that she, and many others, look at the crucifixion of Jesus as a loss instead of the victory that it really is.  They view the crucifixion as something that was done to Jesus, when they should be looking at it as something that Jesus allowed to happen so that our sins would be forgiven.  Without the forgiveness of our sins there is no path to God, for as long as we carry the stain of sin we cannot stand in the presence of God.  Jesus allowed himself to be crucified so that we would be forgiven and would be able to spend eternity in heaven with God.  This is the son of God we are talking about after all, if he did not want to allow it to happen then all he would have had to do would be to say no I will not allow this and the scourging would not have wounded him, the nails would not have pierced his skin.

Format Change

Just a heads up that going forward, I will be posting each new post as it's own even if it is on the same topic as an older post.  Previously, I would just go back and add on to an existing post that was on the same topic but I did not really think that through.  So, from today on if the post is related or on the same topic as an older post I'll reference the older post in the title of the new the new but related post.  Just thought this might help all three or four of my readers.

This is real to me

This is real to me, I can't get that statement out of my head.  Almost a month ago I sat in church I heard what I had been feeling described better than I could have ever put it into words.  Pastor Bennett was going through the different ways that we connect to God and was talking about how he connects and he said I'm up here moving, have my hands raised in praise "This is real to me".  And there it was, what I had been feeling but had been unable to put into words.  All of this was now real to me.  Before I received Christ as my Lord and Savior, going to church was just something that was expected, I didn't really "get" anything out of it.   When we first came to the Church at Polaris  I didn't care for the music, every week I would prefer to have gotten there at the very end of the music, just in time to hear the message but my wife really liked the music so we usually arrived somewhere in the middle.  However, after I received Christ as my Lord and Savior, I could not get enough of, the music,  reading the Bible, being in a small group, going to Church.  During service I sing, raise my hands in praise and sometimes get so choked up with emotion that sometimes I even cry.  It has been just over 7 months since I hit bottom, since I turned to God and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior and I still look forward to Sunday.  It is said that when you are saved, you become a new creation in Christ, that the old is gone.  Every day I live the proof of that statement, and now, I can also say that this is "real" to me as well.

Words of Faith from Mr. T: Mr. T Interview - Beliefnet.com

No joke Mr T. is a great man of faith and I think this is worth reading.

Mr. T Interview, 'I Pity the Fool,' Christianity, Christian, Jesus - Beliefnet.com

The importance of praying for others

It dawned on me the other day, for the last 6 months there has not been a day that has gone by that I did not pray at least once.  Whether alone, silent, out loud or with the wife and or son, I have prayed every day.  I have seen many of those prayers answered, one of which took place right before my eyes.  But what of the last 42 years?  During those years I was not very close to God and had not accepted Jesus into my heart.  But prayer, outside of church, was just not part of my regular everyday life like is now.  I attended church regularly, by which I mean on Christmas and Easter and sporadically throughout the rest of the year.  So my question became how did I make it this far, without praying regularly.  In my life I have been involved in so many things that I either should not have survived or at least should have come out far worse than I did.  The only answer that would come to mind was that throughout my life I must have had people praying to God on my behalf.  There just is no other explanation, whether it was my wife; my grandmother; my choir & ensemble director, I may never know all the who were praying on my behalf asking God to watch over me.  If it were not for those prayers, my life would have ended many years ago, many years before I was saved.  My point is, if there is someone that you know, someone that you know or suspect has not accepted Jesus as their Lord and savior pray for them, pray for them often.  It doesn't have to be long and complicated, or even specific, what matters is that you take action and pray to God for them.  Your prayer can be as simple as asking God to watch over the person in question what matters is that you pray.  It made a difference in my life and now I pray every day and I thank God for those who cared enough to ask God to protect me when I wasn't concerned enough to do it myself.

Even in Walmart

I was in Walmart grocery shopping with the wife last night.  We were in the frozen foods section and the wife picked out the 2 frozen lunches that she wanted and told me to pick mine out.  I reached into the case picked out the ones that I wanted and as I pulled them out one of the other boxes fell off the shelf inside the case.  I put the ones I picked out into the cart and reached back into the case picked up the box that had fallen, fiddled with it to get it back onto the shelf and as I closed the door, it fell again.  By this time the wife was halfway down the isle and little frustrated, I said "I'm tried, I'm done" and started to walk away.  That's when it happened, I heard a small still voice as plain as day that said "So let's not get tired of doing what is right."  I tried to shake it off as I headed down the isle but heard it several more times until I turned around and went back.  I retreived the box from the bottom of the freezer case and made sure it stayed on the shelf this time.  I've never had this happen before, the voice was in my head, but it was as plain as if someone had been standing beside me whispering in my ear.  God cares about how we act when no one is looking, even if we are just buying groceries in Walmart.

The Promises of God...

Listed here are only a few of the promises that God has given us and since God cannot lie you can build the foundation of your life on them.

It doesn't get any plainer than this, God says He will be with us, that He will protect us, when we call He will answer, He will give us our salvation.
Psalm 91
14  The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love me.  I will protect those who trust in my name.15  When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.  I will rescue and honor them.16  I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.

God says the He will guide us along the best pathway for our lives
Psalm 32
8 The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.

*In Progress*

Mission-Peru Countdown

Soon we embark on a mission for God to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ

Easy ways to praise God during your day

Here are some of the ways that I have come up with to praise God throughout the day. 
1)  I sit at a computer all day and the computer is set to require the password after 3 minutes of inactivity, so I changed the password to a phrase that praises God.  Every time I get up from my desk, come back to the computer after doing paperwork or being on the phone I have to enter my praise password. 
2)  I have around 35 verses that I read daily (I don't do so well on the weekends) and I have them up on my computer (I use the Sticky Notes program that came w/Win7) so a least every workday I start out my day by reading them.
3)  Family participation- I'm doing a discipleship program with Pastor Mark and part of that is every few weeks we get a new morning prayer and several verses to memorize.  When I get these my wife takes them and puts the morning prayer and the verses on post-it notes and sticks them to the bathroom mirror.  That way I really do not have an excuse to not read them every day.  Without that support, I would have a really hard time remembering to read them every day.
4)Bible Reading- I use a Bible app called YouVersion which has just about all the versions of the Bible you could want.  It also has reading plans which are groups of verses by subject as well as read the Bible in a year, 90 days ect.  One of the features that I get the most out of is it's ability to read the bible to you, I spend a least 2 hours a day in the car and there is no reason, for me to not be able to read (or listen to) God's word.
5)  Joel Osteen app- Joel is the pastor of Lakewood church in Houston TX and is one of what I can best describe as my circle of support without which I would have never made it through this.  There is an app on the Droid platform called "JoelCast" the full version has all of his TV messages back to April 2006.  If you are in a place where you can't see a way out, where you are about to give up hope then .99 is a very small price to pay, the messages are only 30 minutes and are very uplifting.  If you are wavering even a little in your faith or your trust in God, it is time well spent.
6)Leading the Way app- Dr. Michael Youssef is the Pastor of The Church of the Apostles in Atlanta GA you can listen to many of his sermons on the smartphone app as well as watch many of his broadcast sermons.  If there is any doubt about God's salvation for you then I recommend a little time in the electronic pew listening to Dr. Youssef.

These are all I could think of at the moment, and I felt the need to get this posted now and not wait so if anyone who reads this has any other ways than the five here please put them in the comments and I'll copy them into the post.

The Past

We all do it, we look back and think of  the "good old days".  Memories of past times that are far enough in the past that all we remember are the good, fun parts.  We gloss over the hard times, even looking at them as better than they really were.  These last few months I have done this alot, looked back at the past and thought things wern't really that bad, certainly not compared to what I have been going through.  I've even thought, that if I could just go back and "fix" the actions that led to my current predicament, that would be so great.  But would it really?  In the natural it would be, but what would I have to sacrifice to do that?  My salvation, that's what I would be giving up.  When I hit rock bottom, I finally turned to God, finally repented and welcomed Jesus into my heart.  To go back and "fix" things would undo that and I don't know if I would have ever come to God on my own.  So, now when those thoughts enter my mind, I rebuke them right then and think of what I have gained through Christ and I praise God.

The past is best left right where it is, in the past.

My Hero

If you asked me who my hero was and I was not allowed to pick a fictional Star Trek character, I would tell you that my hero is my wife.  She is truly one of the best things that have ever come into my life (the other being our son).  She is beautiful, talented, strong-willed has a never give up attitude.  She almost always seems to know the right course of action and given enough time can usually come up with a solution to whatever situation we seem to be in.  I could not have asked for a better woman to spend my life with.

During the Storm

I was listening to "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns yesterday and it occurred to me how easy it is to praise God when everything in our lives is going well.  When things go sideways, well that's another thing entirely, but it shouldn't be.  When we are in trouble, or things don't go the way we want or even asked God for them to go we have a tendency to move away from God.  Sometimes we even blame God for the circumstances that we have found ourselves in.  In these times, when we need Him the most, shouldn't we be praising him and moving closer to him and not farther away?  It's during these times that our faith is tested the most, it's easy to praise God when things go well, but when our lives don't go the way we want that's when we find out just how strong our faith can be.  At the end of Joshua 24:15 Joshua says "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  You probably noticed that he said we will serve the Lord, period nothing else.  He did not say "we will serve the Lord" as long as things go well, as long as I don't have any problems or trials or difficulty.  He just says "we will serve the Lord".  It's a wonderful thing to praise God when all is well in our lives but when things don't go the way we want them that's when we really need to start praising God.  God will never give up on us the least we can do is not give up on Him.  I'd to close this entry with another of my favorite verses that seems appropriate. 
Isaiah 41:9-10
9 I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
saying 'You are my servant.' 
For I have chosen you
and will not throw you away.
10 Don't be afraid, for I am with you.
Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Among others, I read these two verses every day because when the storm comes, I also have difficulty remembering that God is in control of the storm taking what was meant for our harm and using it for our good.  No matter what happens, how bad things may seem to be getting, keep praising God and keep believing in Him.  He believes in you after all and really what do you have to lose by praising Him during the difficult times?

Take the First Boat

Have you ever heard the parable of the man in the flood?  A man is trapped in his house by rising flood waters and a boat comes along and offers to take him to safety.  The man says refuses, saying "I know God will provide" so the boat leaves him there.  The waters continue to rise and now the first floor of the man's house is flooded and he is trapped on the second floor.  Another rescue boat stops and they also offer to take the man to safety.  Again, he refuses, saying that he believes the God will save him so the boat moves on.  The flood waters continue to rise and now the second floor of his house is flooded and the man is now stranded on his roof.  A helicopter comes and they offer to take him to safety and once again the man declines the offer because he is sure that God will save him.  The helicopter leaves and eventually the man drowned.  When he reaches heaven, he says to God what happened?  I believed that you would save me.  To which God replies "I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?

I'm sure many of you have heard this one before.  What I am trying to say is when it comes, take the first boat.  In my life (and probably yours) I have noticed little signs or hints or nudges, when something is wrong or there is something that I should do.  I think many of us have a habit of ignoring these when we should be taking action.  Before our audit we received many of these, from plots on TV shows to spots on the radio and as the time came closer they became more blatant.  What did I do?  I tried my best to ignore them, if I had taken action things would not have gotten quite as bad as they did.  As a result, I am doing my best to watch for that sign or nudge and take action then.

Today was one of those times.  Last night about 8:30pm our company's phone system went down and after a late night trip to the office (on a Fri night no less) it was determined to be the PRI Circuit (phone co).  I called and after an hour and a half on hold they put in a service ticket, gave me a ticket number and told me someone would call.  This morning, I checked and the phones at the office were still out so I called AT&T and found out that they had marked the trouble ticket "No Testing" which means they were not planning on testing the circuit, ever.  After holding for an hour Friday night just to be told I needed to call a different department and holding for over a half hour with the correct department they mark the ticket don't test when that is exactly what needed to be done.  When I woke up the next morning (Saturday) I called our office to check if the phone system was back up and it was not.  I had one of those feelings or nudges, whatever you want to call them, that I should call ATT and check on the status of our trouble ticket.  Now normally I would not do this, my attitude would be "I did my part, I called for service now it's their job" and I would not follow up on it.  This course of action does not usually work out well.  When I called, the automated system told me that the ticket was still waiting for a technician to pick it up, meaning it had not been acted on yet.  So, I waited to be connected to a tech and when I did get one on the line he tested it remotely right away and then dispatched a technician to our office (on a Saturday no less).  Without testing the circuit there would be no resolution to our issue and since we run a call center phones are a must have.

My point is this when God sends you a boat, take the first boat don't wait.  Don't wait for something better, don't wait to make a wrong that you have committed right, don't wait for someone else to do something that you have to have done without checking on their progress.  Do it when you get the sign or the nudge or feeling, don't wait.

The Divine Appointment and Divine Interventions

There are times in my life where my path was changed or altered for the better and those stories are what you will find here.

This is a car accident that took place on a remote section of US 33 south of Lancaster OH when I was in college.  I worked part-time for FedEx while I was in college assigned to the LCK ramp at the former Rickenbacker Air Force Base.  Most of us were part-time employees and I work the late shift working something like 9pm-1am, longer during the Christmas season.  One Friday night, early fall I think, after getting off late I headed south on US 33 to spend the weekend with my girlfriend who was attending Ohio University in Athens OH.  It was late, and I was tired, but I was sure that I would have no problem getting there.  So, I began my journey down 33 sometime around 1:30 am and was able to make it just south of Lancaster before I got really tired and pulled into the rest area.  I got out, walked around a little and soon felt like I would be good the rest of the way to Athens.  It did not take long for fatigue to set in again and soon I was having trouble staying awake, staying in my lane and I finally feel asleep.  I woke up in the grassy area off of the right side of the highway headed for a bridge at 60mph+, now I was awake!  I tried the brakes but the grass was wet and they seemed to have no effect, I was going to have to ride this one all the way in so to speak.  When I left the roadway I was very close to the bridge and really had nowhere else to go except straight ahead.  This type of bridge has support columns on both sides of the divided highway and the ground rises from close to the bottom of the columns to the bridge deck at about a 45 degree angle.  My choices, both limited and unpleasant, were to try to veer off and probably hit the columns or just ride it out and try to go between the columns and the bridge deck.  I chose the latter.  My car and I went up the embankment, under the bridge deck and shot out the other side (airborne) and then fell back to the ground like the giant steel rock that we were.  Miraculously, I did not hit anything and was unharmed.  I can tell you that while airborne there is no need to steer (anyone seen Romancing the Stone?   Same concept except in the air not the water).  My car however; did not make it unscathed.  Right away the only obvious damage was the blown out rear tire, unfortunately I had already used the spare a few months back and had not replaced it yet.  It's somewhere near 2am, I'm literally in the middle of nowhere without a spare tire and this was 1990, long before everyone above the age of 8 had a cell phone.

Now, God has already spared my life by making this accident something that I could walk away from without any injuries but he was not done yet.  As I'm standing by the roadside wondering how much more overdue I would need to be before my girlfriend called out the National Guard to find me when a small box truck pulled over.  It was the Parkersburg Delivery Service truck that we loaded often at the FedEx LCK ramp and then would make his nightly run back to Parkersburg WV.  Not only did God send someone to help me, he sent someone that I was familiar with.  The driver offered to take me in to Nelsonville to a gas station that he said was open 24hr and thought they might sell tires.  Now I've not given this much thought over the years but what are the chances of there a:being a 24 gas station in Nelsonville OH, b: them having a tire to fit my Hyundai and then c: them having someone at what would by then be at least 2:30am who would be able to mount the new tire for me?  I was willing to give it a try so off we went.  Sure enough, the gas station was open, they did have a tire that would work for my car and they were able, and willing, to mount if for me right then.  Then the Parkersburg delivery driver took me back to my car (this would put him 40 minutes behind at least for the round-trip) and then he waited for me to get the tire installed and to make sure the car was drivable (the body was now bent from the crash landing).  Who does that for someone they barely know out in the middle of nowhere?  When God sends you a Divine Appointment, people will go out of their way to help you, I have heard this many times from listening to Joel Osteen and every time I hear him say that, I think "That's what I need, when will that happen to me?"  Now, looking back at my life, I realize my whole life has been filled with these Divine Appointments or just outright Divine Intervention.  This event having been one of many.

I did call my girlfriend when I was in Nelsonville and yep she was getting ready to call out the National Guard, call the hospitals, OSP... but my call averted all that.  I did make it to Athens that night, very overdue, battered and with my poor Hyundai having a noticeable bend in the middle (that car was built like a tank just not an airplane) and with my girlfriend's nerves more than a little frayed.

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     Another of these "appointments" came years later, the girlfriend was now the wife and soon to be mom.  I had been at the SO for almost 4 years and felt somewhat confident that I had a handle on how to do my job.  Early in the shift one night (3rd shift) we had just cleared a domestic disturbance call in west side apartment complex.  After the call the K-9 Deputy and I were in the parking lot talking with the complex security officer when I noticed a car pull into the lot and drive to the far side very slowly and come to a stop.  As we continued our conversation, the passenger got out of the vehicle and started walking our way.  The vehicle left the area and I didn't really think anything of it.  The male passenger was still walking our way but I was sure that he must be headed for the apartments behind us and was intending to just go around us, and our cruisers.  Looking back I'm still amazed that there was no red flag, no klaxon, no emergency flasher going off in my head.  In that line of work, you're taught not to let people into your personal space and how easy it is for a "bad guy" to rapidly close a much larger gap, after you have worked the street for awhile it becomes second nature.  But for some reason I still can't explain, I watched him walk the the whole way from where he was dropped off to where we were (about 250 feet) and it never dawned on me that something bad was headed our way.  He just kept closing the distance, watched by me and unnoticed by the others, until he was right on top of us.  He did not veer off at the last minute, instead he attacked me and the struggle for my sidearm began.  I don't know how long the fight lasted it seemed to go on much longer than it really did.  My attacker had managed to get his hand on my gun (still in its holster, thank God for Safariland) and was not about to let go.  This seemed to go on for several minutes until I was able to use one of the weapon retention techniques that we had been taught in basic, now I graduated the police academy 4 years earlier and had been through yearly self-defence training with the SO yet this was the only technique that came to mind.  Using this technique, I was able to get my attacker off of my weapon and finally get him on the ground at which point the K-9 and the security officer both seemed to come back to life and jumped in to help secure him.  All through this fight both the K-9 Deputy (who was very experienced) and the security officer (also not new to this) both just stood there as if they were in a trance.  It was one of the stranger things I experienced in that life, never before or since have I seen them react this way, they always were willing to "get into the fight" so to speak.  This young man admitted to being on marijuana and to have been drinking earlier in the evening.  He and his girlfriend had been in an arguement and she broke off the relationship that night in the car.  He told us that he asked him to drop him off there because he had wanted to commit suicide and was sure that if he grabbed one of our guns one of us would shoot him.  I could have used deadly force.  I could have used deadly force to end the attack with my backup gun and I have no doubt that it would have been justified. 

For the past 16 years I have always looked at this experience as something that happened to me, that I was the victim of.  It occurred to me as I was writing this that I may have been this young man's Divine Appointment someone who knew there was a difference between being legally able to use deadly force and not having any other choice.

Crossroads

Our business is at a crossroads, either we bring on new business or we will fade away.  Our preference is to bring on new business and to do that we attended an industry conference in Tampa, Fl last week.  We have had success in landing a new client at this conference in the past and it was one of the first offered this year.  The conference organizer also allowed us to present one of the concurrent sessions as long a we had a client co-presenter.  This was not a problem as we had a contact in FL who was more than willing to be the co-presenter.  As time for the show drew nearer, our co-presenter was forced to dropout due to the last minute scheduling of a corporate retreat at his company.  Defiantly not good news, but the conference organizer still allowed us to do the session, however; the week before the conference date we get an email from him that said he needed to change both the time and the meeting room that we were scheduled for and asked "please tell me this is not a problem".  We agreed, after all Gene didn't have to keep us on the schedule at all.  Now, we had already done and email & postcard campaign to all of the scheduled attendees requesting that they attend our session at the original time.  We did ask that he mention the change in the keynote address and post signage about the change and Gene agreed.  Unfortunately, we have seen this movie before.  Several years ago we attended a conference in New Orleans where our presentation session was left off the schedule entirely and was not discovered until we arrived.  Even with posting signage we had a total of 3 people, including me, its very hard to generate leads when virtually no-one sees your presentation.  It ended up being a colossal waste of money.  All I could think of was that this was New Orleans all over again except now we really did not have money to waste.  The night before we left was our weekly church group on covenant and at the end we asked Dr. Rod to pray for us and our business.  We arrived about 10:30 the night before and got our booth set-up and checked into our room.  That night we prayed, we asked that God bless our business, our presentation and that he lead people to our new location and time slot.  The morning of we prayed for God's favor again before we went down to the exhibit hall.  About a half hour before our presentation, we headed down to the meeting room to get everything set-up.  It was a nice room, set-up to set about 80 people, although hard to find and set on the opposite end of the conference facility from the other, larger meeting rooms.  After making sure we were ready, Deborah went to the room entrance to try to draw attention to the fact that there was a presentation about to start.  When she went out there, I sat down in the front row and started praying and continued to pray until a gentleman asked me if the seat next to me was taken.  I told him that he was welcome to it and took the opportunity to look around the room and I was shocked, it was about 75% full!  I went back to praying and continued until it was just about time to get started.  Now the room was packed, every seat was taken, there were men in business suits sitting on the floor at the front of the room and 30+ people standing in the back of the room!  I've never been to one of these where it was standing room only and the people actually stayed once they came in and saw how packed it was.  This was in spite of the fact the the two other sessions going on at the the same time, in far larger rooms, were being given by IBM and YAHOO!  This was just the beginning of God's answer to my prayers. 

The presentation itself had not been finalized until that morning and she was a little nervous about how it was going to go.  In short it was amazing, I have never seen her do a better job.  The presentation flowed smoothly and she was able to keep it within the allotted time (I was to serve as her timekeeper but I gave up my chair so that an attendee could sit down.  I ended off to the side and behind her).  She came to the last slide just inside the time limit.  I of course told her what a great job she did but she did not really buy it as I'm a little biased.  However, several people came up after the presentation to tell her how much they enjoyed it and what a great job she did.  The rest of the day and all of the next we had people who saw her presentation stop by our exhibt booth to tell her what a great job she did the presentation, and some of them where from our competition!  We made many contacts and several good leads at this conference and we are working on turning them into clients as I write this.

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.

Bible Verses

Daily Readings
These are Bible verses that I read daily for comfort and to help reinforce my faith.  All are from the New Living Translation.

Luke 11:9-10
9 "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find.  Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  10 For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds.  And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Mark 11:22-25
22 Then Jesus said to the disciples, "Have faith in God.  23 I tell you the truth. you can say to this mountain, 'May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and it will happen.  But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.  24 I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours.  25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too."

Galatians 6:9
So let's not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.

Luke 15:7
In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven't strayed away!

Mark 12:17
"Well then," Jesus said, "give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God."

Matthew 18:19-20
19 "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven wil do it for you.  20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."

Isaiah 41:9-10
I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You are my servant.' For I have chosen you  and will not throw you away.  Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:13
And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid.  I am here to help you.'

Psalm 50:15
Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.

Psalm 34:4-6
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.  Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Matthew 6:33-34
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."

Isaiah 54:17
But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed.  You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you.  These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me.  I the Lord, have spoken!

Proverbs 3:5-8
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  7 Don't be impressed with your own wisdom.  Instead, dear the Lord and turn away from evil.  8 Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.

Psalm 91:1-16
1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  2 This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety: he is my God, and I trust him.  3 For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.  4 He will cover you with his feathers.  He will shelter you with his wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection.  5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day.  6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in the darkness, nor the disaster that strikes in midday.  7 Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.  8 Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished.  9 If you make the Lord your refuge, If you make the Most High your shelter, 10 no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home.  11 For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.  12 They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone.  13You will trample upon lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!  14 The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me.  I will protect those who trust in my name.  15 When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.  I will rescue and honor them.  16 I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation."

Ephesians 3:20
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Deuteronomy 4:31
31 For the Lord you God is a merciful God; he will not abandon you or destroy you or forget the solemn covenant he made with your ancestors.

Romans 10:9-11
9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.  11 As the Scriptures tell us, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be discraced."

Colossians 3:13
13 Make alloowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Psalm 32
A psalm of David.
1 Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!2 Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.  My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.  Interlude5 Finally, I confess my rebellion to the LORD."  And you forgave me!  All my guilt is gone.  Interlude6 Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgement.7 For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble.  You surround me with songs of victory.  Interlude8 The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control."10 Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the LORD.11 So rejoice in the LORD and be glad, all you who obey him!  Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!

Things that I have left unsaid for far too long

There are people in my life that I have wanted to say things to for a very long but just have not had the courage to come out and tell them.  No, they're not bad things, I think we all are far too willing to speak out when we feel wronged or mad about something.  And all too often we forget to say something, or just take for granted, when someone does something nice for us.

For Karl,

I met Karl almost 21 years ago on the first day of our Police Academy.  The classroom layout had 2 students to each table.  Since both of our names started with "A" we just happened to be at the same table and for the duration of the academy Karl became my partner whenever we needed to break-up into smaller groups or teams of 2.  I had always considered myself lucky or fortunate that things worked out that way, as I look back now I know that it was much more than that.  It was not "luck" that brought Karl into my life, it was not "luck" that caused us to get along so well.  Karl was a Divine Appointment and would change my life for the better (on more than one occasion) by just being himself.  Karl is one of those rare people who was a "natural" at police work, and I don't mean the classroom stuff I mean the real world application stuff he just seemed to "get it".  I just don't know any other way to put it. 

Driving
    
I did well in the Academy right up until driving.  The driving portion of our academy was held over 1 day at a little used part of either the Fostoria or Findlay airport runway (its been almost 21 years and I am losing some of the less important details).  The way it was structured was that there several obstacles and at each one the objective was demonstrated and each person would have time to practice before the test.  Each one was pass/fail meaning that if you failed the test on one of the obstacles you had 2 more tries to pass the test.  If you failed any one part of the course 3 times then you were done since passing driving was part of the graduation requirement - if you failed driving you were not permitted to continue the academy, it ended for you there.  If you still wanted to be in Law Enforcement you would have to apply to another academy and at the very least finish your training with them.  I had trouble with several of the obstacles during the practice but with practice I was able to get them down.  When the time for the test came the only one I had trouble with was the "Star" maneuver, one that I had been able to do during practice without any trouble.  The Star is a circle of traffic cones that is slightly larger than your cruiser (Crown Victoria or Chevy Caprice) and you pulled into the circle and through the other side up to about the back tires and then put the car in reverse and backed up and through a different set of cones than you entered.  The continued until you had completed the circle without hitting any cones or leaving the circle and this was a timed test as well (I believe anyway, that part is a little fuzzy).  During practice this was easy for me, it was a breeze, but during the test I failed the first 2 attempts.  After the 2nd attempt the instructors pulled me out sent me back to the end of the line.  It's funny, one minute we are one big class of Peace Officer hopefuls and the next you are on the verge of getting thrown out and you on your own.  I was told when I landed my job at the Sheriff's Office that you are not really in trouble as long as people are making fun of your screw-up, it's when no one is making fun of your mistake, when no one is laughing that you are in real trouble.  This is an example of the latter.  After I was sidelined to get myself together I was very much alone everyone knew that I had botched the first 2 attempts and if I failed the next try I was out.  Everyone seemed to keep their distance and no one said anything to me, I was sinking and they seemed resigned to that fact everyone except for Karl.  He did not say much and what he said exactly I cannot remember, but I do remember that on that day when I needed someone to pick me up and put me back on my feet God sent me Karl and what he said gave me hope and reassurance when I needed it the most.  When it came time for me to take the test one more time I passed it without any problem.  When the rest of the class were pulling away from the guy that seemed headed for failure, Karl was there for me and without those few words of hope I know I would not have been able to pass the star on my third try. 

Self-Defense

Another pass/fail part of the academy was self-defense.  Part of the graduation requirement was to demonstrate a weapon retention technique.  We were taught several of these and we were allowed to choose which one to perform for the test.  We did this in 2 man teams one person playing the part of the aggressor and one as the cop.  Karl and I were teamed up as usual and we picked the same technique and we practiced and practiced and practiced some more.  Karl got it down much sooner than I did but he kept on practicing with me so that I could be sure that I had it, never once complaining about how much longer it took me.  When the time came for us to demonstrate the weapon retention technique we both passed without a problem. 

A little more than 4 years later I am in the latter part of my 4th year as a Deputy Sheriff.  We had just cleared a call in a problem apartment complex when I was attacked by someone who was intent on taking my gun.  In the nearly 4 years since joining the SO I had attended yearly self-defense training that included weapon retention techniques but not the one that Karl and I had practiced back in the academy.  When I was attacked that night that only technique that came to mind was the one that Karl and I practiced all those years ago.  Using that technique I was able to break his lock on my gun and subdue my attacker without using deadly force.  (There is a longer description of this incident in Divine Appt & Divine Intervention entry).


Mike Corwin- Lieutenant, later Chief now Pastor Mike,

I got my start in Law Enforcement thanks to my wife.  Shortly after we were married she asked me what I wanted to be when I was little.  I told her that growing up I always wanted to be either a fighter pilot or a cop.  To that she replied I can't make you a fighter pilot (plus your vision is too bad) but I can make you a cop.  My wife worked at the local ER as an RN and I would bring her lunch from time to time.  Not long after that convo (less than a week) she told me that she wanted me to meet someone when I brought lunch up to the hospital that night.  She was talking with one of her co-workers about married life and the subject of what I was going to do for a living came up.  I had dropped out of college due to a mysterious gastrointestinal illness that was never accurately diagnosed.  Deb told her that I wanted to be a cop and her co-worker (Mike's wife) told Deb that there was a police academy starting soon and that Mike was looking for someone to sponsor.  So that night they had Mike come by the ER when I was going to be there so that he could meet me and talk about going to the academy.  From there it was a matter of background checks, applications to both the Police Auxiliary and to the academy as well as psych testing.  I was accepted into the auxiliary as well as to the police academy (the cost of the academy as well as all the equipment and supplies were our responsibility).  During the academy we had a wide variety of instructors from many local and some state law enforcement agencies.  One of which was the Sheriff of Seneca County.  Somewhere around half-way through the program, we were on luch break or had just come back from lunch and had some time until our next class started.  Several of us were sitting around in something like a student lounge with cushy living room like furniture and I put my head back and closed my eyes.  Someone came up from behind and yelled "Wake up!" and a few other things that I don't remember, all I remember is that I was sure that the voice belonged to Scott, one of our classmates.  I was so sure that, without opening my eyes to check, I said "f*&^ you d*^$h!@#".  As I have said before, in law enforcement you are not really in trouble unless noone is laughing or making fun of you.  When they start to treat you like you are radioactive that's when you know you are in real trouble.  Before I opened my eyes I knew something was wrong because the everything seemed to stop, all the side conversations all the background noise just seemed to go away all at once.  When I opened my eyes I knew why, the person standing behind my chair was not Scott the fellow classmate that I thought it was in fact the Sheriff of Seneca County who was our instructor that day.  I cannot adequately describe how bad I felt, I appologised immediately he laughed and accepted and I naively thought it was over.  Later in the day the academy commander, Dr. Flickenger, approached me and made it clear that not only was it not over but if he had his way I would be booted from the program.  That was the longest drive from Tiffen to Bucyrus that I have ever made, knowing that I would have to somehow explain this to not just my wife but to Lt. Corwin.  After I went through this with Deb she just told me to call the Lieutenant.  When I called Lt. Corwin and explained what I did he laughed, not a great big belly laugh but he laughed.  He had my type up what happened and bring it down to the dept and that was the end of it as far as he was concerned (as long as I managed to not do anything that stupid again).  He could have ended my career right then and there, it would have been perfectly within his right and I've met many men in law enforcement who in his shoes would have dropped me in heartbeat and never thought twice about it.  Mike, you made an impact on my life that I can never fully explain and thank you just does not seem to be enough.  Just the same, Thank You and God bless you.

Lynn,
Lynn was a Special Deputy that rode with me for 9 1/2 years.  Specials are required to put in a minimum number of hours each month and for most of my career (short as it was) Lynn chose to ride with me.  He is by nature just an all around nice guy, if there is something that he can do for you he would and not expect anything in return.  I have met very few men like Lynn and I feel privileged to know him and that he considers me his friend.  After I left the SO to move to FL, to chase my wife's dream job, he sent me an email.  In while talking about something going on in his life he said that he wasn't sure how I put up with him all those years.  That really struck me as I never felt this way, Lynn was never a bother nor a burden in fact he was very helpful and I enjoyed having him along but I had also never told him this.  Lynn came out a few times a month and when he did he was my partner, that's just what I had become accustomed to and just assumed that's the way things would always be.  I enjoyed having Lynn along so much that I was glad, excited thrilled that my last 2 days on the SO he was able to ride with me.  Did I tell him any of this, no.  After his email, this was 10 years ago, I thought of so many ways to say these things but never had the nerve to do so.  I have resolved to change this.

Another thing that came to mind was an incident that we were involved in that I think he felt I did not value him or his ability to "back me up".  We were dispatched to an apt building on Cleveland Ave on a disturbance call.  Like many of these types of calls the caller provided very little information other than a disturbance in the 2nd floor hallway and wished to remain anonymous.  This section of Cleveland Ave consisted of several apt buildings on both sides of the road in a very low income area that has a history of violence and drug activity.  We arrived, blacked out in the back of the building, we entered the rear entrance and proceeded upstairs.  On the second floor in the hallway we came across a man, who claimed to be the caller and stated that the disturbance was down at the other end of the hallway.  As a side note, we had just been through 8 hours of training with the SO's training academy on pat down searches, disturbance calls and how to handle suspicious people.  One of the situations that I was presented with was a suspicious person claiming to be the victim.  So, I did the basic pat down, thought I did a reasonable job I mean he's the victim right?!  We'll I missed a gun, a rather large one at that, bang I'm dead.  Thank God this is training right?  I was embarrassed, to say the least.  In the training that followed I learned that in many disturbance calls the "bad guy" will claim to be the victim or even the person who called in the report.  The lessons learned during training were and the need for this type of training so late in my career were about to become apparent.  Little did I know that what I learned during our training day was to be put to the test one week later with the first call of the night, a disturbance.  So, when our "caller" pointed us down the hall I did a pat down search and this time I did it the way it is supposed to be done and found a small automatic on our bad guy.  Well, honestly I had never found a gun on someone before and it more than freaked me out so I called for backup and in the process may have given Lynn the idea that I did not think he was capable of having my back.  There are few things farther from the truth, but again I remained silent when I should have said something.  Another side note, this bad guy was someone that I had arrested a month or so previously for possession of crack cocaine, I believe I know what he had planned for us if we had just walked on by like he wanted us to do by telling us the problem was at the other end of the building.

I also asked Lynn if he remembered what he said to me the first night we met.  During roll call Lynn was assigned to ride with me (this would be the first time I had a Special ride with me) and I was not exactly thrilled.  We rarely had enough Deputies in the Patrol Division so the only time that we ever rode 2 to a cruiser was when there was a car shortage.  After roll-call, Lynn came up to me and offered to go home something along the lines of if you don't want a rider I'd be happy to go home and go to bed (I worked C company).   For a second or two, I actually thought about taking him up on his offer.  I didn't, and I'm glad that I made a decision that was outside my comfort zone.  This is one of those decisions that change your life, this one changed mine for the better.

Status: We had dinner recently with Lynn and his wife and I told him what I needed to say, he was very gracious as always.

Signs

At the suggestion of Pastor Mark this is my attempt to keep a journal of all the things that have been happening in my life lately.  These are things that I can only attribute to being signs- evidence of God's hand at work in my life.

I have not been good at documenting these and will have to start with today and work my way backward.

I am still having trouble with feelings of guilt and today has been especially bad.  Last week I signed up for daily emails from Joel Osteen Ministries as we have been reading many of his books and have watched/listened to several of his services and it has helped me greatly in dealing with how I feel about myself and in maintaining my faith.  For the uninitiated, the emails start with a bible verse and then have a message from Joel and Victoria that expand on what is in the verse.  Today the verse was Psalm 23:4 NKJV "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me..."  And in the message that followed he talks about how easy it is to get discouraged when you are going through something difficult and how it may feel like you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  He then says something that really made sense and that I had never considered; that the verse says that you are only walking through - you don't have to stop and stay in these difficult times and that this means that they are only temporary.  And the most important part of this is that God is with you, his is walking with us through the difficult times we are not walking through this alone.  For I had always thought of this as a funeral verse and I had trouble finding comfort in it.  But looking at the way Joel described it made me look at it in a different way entirely and I think in the way it was ment to be read.  This was a welcome read with the burden of what we were going through and in the state of mind I found myself when I sought it out.  Several hours later I was catching up on some of the planned reading, in my Bible app, that I was behind in and the reading that came up was Psalm 23:1-6.  That I would receive the same message twice in one day, from two separate resources, is nothing less than remarkable and that I would receive it today when I needed to hear or see it the most is nothing short of a message from God- I am with you, everything is going to ok.  In one of his messages that we listened to Joel said the God does not send the storm, but he is in control of it and if we stay in faith he will take what was ment for our harm and use it for our good.  I can say today that I know this to be the truth, I have seen it come to pass in our lives.

Prayers and statements of Faith

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the blessings you bestow on me.  Every breath I take is a gift from you. Father I know that I've made mistakes and that i have to make amends for those things.  I don't know how I can do that ... in fact I am pretty sure that I can't ... but I know without a doubt that YOU have a plan and that YOU make all things work together for my good.  I know that I don't have to worry because you said in Matthew 6:26 that you will provide for me.  I don't see how I will ever pay all the bills and make ends meet financially, but I am not going to worry because your promise in Deuteronomy 15:6 that you will make me a lender and not a borrower.  I know that your son Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price to wash away my sins.  So, I am declaring victory over the enemy ... I am refusing to let that demon keep me worried ... instead I am standing on YOUR promises and your holy word, you said that we have have not because we ask not, so I'm asking - God take this setback and make it a setup for a miraculous overflowing on the other side!  I know you can ... I believe you will ... I am trusting that it is already done.  And because your guarantee is that if two or more here on earth agree it then you will do it, I am having Chris join me.  Together we are a force the demons must fear and one you guarantee you will hear!  In Jesus name - thank  you Lord, thank you father, thank you.   Amen

The favor of God surronds me like a shield, everything I touch prospers and succeeds.

The blessings of God are chasing me down and overtaking me.

I am on my way to Heaven.

God goes before me to make my path straight and easy.

I call forth the angels and send them out to intercede and intervene ... because I am in covenant with God through Jesus Christ I can do that!

God makes all things work together for my good.

I am in the palm of God's hand.

This hasn't come to stay, it has come to pass.

I know who I am, I know whose I am.

God today, I ask for an understanding mind and a heart that I may discern between what is your way and what is not.  And that I'll have the wisdom to lead myself, my family and the people in my path well, for your glory.  In Jesus name, Amen.

I declare it by speaking-
The favor of God surrounds us like a shield ... everything we touch prospers & succeeds.  The blessings of God are chasing us down & overtaking us.  He makes all things work together for our good.
In Jesus name, Amen.

My Father in Heaven, may your name be honored, may your Kingdom come, and your will be done in my life as well as in my families lives, as it is in Heaven.  Give us this day all we need, and forgive us of our sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned against us.  And don't let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from evil, for yours is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen.

I know who I am, I know whose I am.  -Joel Osteen

God answers prayers

A week ago today I picked up my wife from work to go to a meeting at our accountant's office.  When she got in the car she told me that she had been having some abdominal pain and bleeding just an FYI kind of thing.  About 15 minutes later she excused herself from the meeting to use the bathroom and upon her return told us that she had to leave, she was now in a great deal of pain and went to sit in the car and wait for me.  About 5 minutes later as I was wrapping up she called me on my cell to tell me that she needed to go to the Emergency Room and she felt like she was going to pass out.  When I got into the car she told me that the pain was now intolerable and that she was bleeding more heavily and every turn, every bump on the way to the hospital was agonizing.  We pulled into the ER about 10 minutes later and by this time she was in so much pain that she could not sit up straight or stand up to walk so I helped her into a wheelchair and took her in.  After talking to the triage nurse the staff wheeled her back into the emergency department.  Once we were able to get her changed into the gown admitting came in, then the nurse to take vital signs ask what symptoms she was having the pain by now was off the chart, far beyond the worst pain she had ever experienced along with a tearing sensation.  She was in so much pain that she was doubled over and unable to even sit up and required constant pressure on her lower right abdomen.  I'm not afraid to admit that by this time I was pretty scared, I had never seen my wife in this much pain and my mind was quickly going for the worst case scenario.  So when the nurse left the room (no treatment, "the doctor will be in shortly"), I took her hand and told her that we were going to pray.  I asked God to heal my wife, to make the treatment non-invasive (I was worried about needing surgery) that he give her a complete recovery and that it would be done today.  After we prayed I showed her a Bible Verse that I had come across that morning which is Matthew 18:19-20:
19 "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.  20 For where two or three gather as my followers, I am there among them."  I have a Bible app on my phone that has what it calls "Plans" these are Bible Verses grouped together by subject and meant to be read over a certain period of time.  This particular verse is part of the plan "The Essential Jesus but this was not the reading for that day.  I had fallen behind and was going back to the earliest missed day and this was the Verse.  When I read it that morning it was interesting I liked and appreciated what it said, but now it took on additional meaning, it had immediate application in my life and the life of the woman that I cannot bear to think about living life without.  She is the reason I get out of bed in the morning, why I try to be a better man.  About 15 minutes after praying she sat a little straighter and started talking about leaving.  I though she was just impatient (she can be) and I told that she could not even sit up straight and left it at that.  Another 15 minutes go by and she put the folded up bed sheet down that she had been using to apply pressure and sat up a little more normally and again started with the crazy talk of going home "The doctor has 15 minutes to come in here and after that I'm leaving."  I told that she could not even dress herself so I was pretty sure that was not going to happen.  Less than 15 minutes later she sat straight up and told me to give her clothes to her, we were going home.  She dressed herself then got up off of the hospital bed and said we were leaving.  She not only walked out of the Emergency Department but out of the hospital and walked with me the block to where I had been forced to park after taking her into the ER. 


I have never seen anything like this; she was healed before my eyes!  It is the most amazing thing that I have ever seen.  On the way home I told her of my amazement God had answered our prayer and healed her (no treatment of any kind had been given at the hospital, not even pain meds).  She told me that God had better things for her to do than lay in a hospital bed.  When we arrived at home she felt completely recovered no pain and the bleeding stopped completely shortly after arriving home.  It's been a week now and still no pain, no relapse tonight she told she feels better than she had in a long time.


When I looked back there was one noticeable difference, this time when I prayed I prayed out loud (this does make a difference) and I had no doubt that my prayer would be answered.  In fact he answered 2 with this one healing, recently I had been asking for help with my level of faith.  God healed my wife and my faith at the same time.


5 I prayed to the Lord and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.  5 Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  6 In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. -Psalm 34:5-6


15 "Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."-Psalm 50:15


13 For I hold you by your right hand-I, the Lord your God.  And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid.  I am here to help you.  -Isaiah 41:13


10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  -Ephesians 6:10


They are more than just words in a book.