"...he has something for you."

"You have to go introduce yourself to him, he has something for you." 

We started attending the Church at Polaris the week before Christmas 2010.  Soon after we started, there was one man in particular who would come up to me during the greeting part of service and shake my hand and say hello.  This would happen every week, no matter where I sat, it was as if he was seeking me out.  Regardless of where we sat, whether in the center or side sections, whether we were on the end or in the middle of the row, I don't think that there was a week that went by that this man did not find me.  My wife leaned over during one service and said quite matter-of-factly "You have to go and introduce yourself to him, he has something for you".  Although she often has the uncanny ability to see things that I do not, I can be somewhat stubborn so my usual reply was "I don't think so".  It's just not my way to go up to someone I don't know and introduce myself, so while I patiently listened to what she had to say that's all I did, listen.  This continued on week after week, month after month, if he was there he found me just to shake my hand and say hello.  As the weeks turned into months, I got accustomed to it and pushed my wife's council to the back of my mind.  She could not explain it, it was just a feeling that would not go away and she was sure, the more that we went that "he had something for me."  As the months went on things in my life started to really deteriorate.  One day following service he was at the exit doors saying goodbye to people as we all made our way out. When we got to him he asked how we were.  Well that's all the wife needed, she told him some of the things that were going on and and asked him "Does God ever change his mind?" in regards to a calling. His answer was a lighting fast "No" and he went on to say that  God does not call you to do something and then change his mind.  The next week on our way out, following service, he was farther away from the doors so his back was to me.  Normally I would have just gone out the doors and been on our way but this day something made me hesitate and after I stopped I literally felt a "push" an overwhelming need to go and over to him.  When I got to him his back was to me and I felt such a "need" to talk to him that I reached out and touched his arm to get his attention (I add this because this is just not me I just don't ask others for help especially ones I don't know very well and ask for help).  After talking for a few minutes he offered to meet with us in private so that we could talk more in depth, but I was not ready for that at least I didn't think I was.  The next day was one of the worst of my life some things that I had done had come back and it was time to face the consequences.  I was alone when I got the news and emotionally could not deal with it and began to consider taking the easy way out instead of dealing with the consequences, doing something that I would not be able to undo, that I could never take back.  It was then that I knew she was right, that Mark Pagley did indeed have something for me and it was time to find out what it was.  She emailed him asking if he was still available to meet and he gave us three different days and several times that he could meet and we made an appointment.  When I met with Pastor Mark I told him everything, what I had done, what I was facing and what I was considering and he told me something that I'll never forget.  He said "It doesn't matter" I was surprised to hear this as I had spent a great deal of time in self loathing and condemnation that I asked what do you mean it doesn't matter?  How can it not matter?  His reply was as simple as it was true ... it doesn't matter what I had done because Jesus already died for my sins and if I could not accept his forgiveness then I was saying in effect that my problems were bigger than God, that I was bigger than God.  We talked for what seemed like a long time, he gave me some scriptures to read, every day, they were Romans 8 - all of it and Philippians 4: 6-7.  During that visit he showed me the road that God had laid out for me and he helped me find the courage to walk it, knowing that I would never have to take one step alone.

It has been 7 months since that meeting, and the worst of our ordeal has passed.  Everything that Mark told me then and since has proven true.  Not only did God not abandon me, he has been with us through this entire thing every time that we needed help, needed something to go our way we would pray and pray and pray and keep praying for it and God has delivered us every time ... he has not let us down once.  Through this I have found faith and salvation.  I have tried to thank him (Mark), but I don't know if he really understands just how far around the bend I had gone by the time that we met that day.  I was rapidly coming to a choice; live in the light or condemn my soul to the darkness, damnation or salvation.  What no one knows until now is that while I promised the wife that I would not do the unthinkable, that I would not leave her alone to deal with this, the truth is that sitting in Pastor Mark's office I was very much still thinking about doing just that.  I don't know if he knows just how much of a difference in my life that he has made.  Without Mark Pagley making time to see me that day there is no way I could have been strong enough to live through this ordeal.  As bad as I felt that day in his office, it was nothing compared to what I would go through the next two weeks as I realized the extent of what I was facing, and without Mark taking the time to meet that day I would not have been able to survive this.  God put the right person in my life to help me make the right choice.  Because of that meeting I repented of my sins and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. 

God will never give up on us, all that is asked of us is that we believe in him and stand in faith that he will make a way out of whatever situation that we get ourselves into.  God knows the end from the beginning, he knew what you and I would face in our lives and he already has made a plan to see us through whatever trial that we are facing.  We may be walking through the shadow of the valley of death, but that is all we are doing, walking through it and God has promised that he would walk through it with is, what more could we ask?

This same thing is true about Jesus.  He has something for you ... forgiveness, redemption, salvation ... all you have to do is introduce yourself.